"I have no riches but my thoughts. Yet these are wealth enough for me." - Sara Teasdale
There once was this chick on my Facebook. We'll call her X.
X and I got into an argument. X was making a ton of status's complaining about her job. She has two.
Both jobs are at grocery stores. She was complaining that her second job, which is just "borrowing" her, won't fit to "her schedule". I told her that if they're just "borrowing" her, then that means they only call her when she is needed, not like a regular job.
To save you from the idiocy that is X, the conversation led her to calling me ignorant because I haven't had a job, so of course I wouldn't know anything about working!
OK, I may have been a tad more mean than that. It really went like this:
X: I hate my job!
Me : Has job during recession, is ungrateful for it.
That wasn't too bad, though. Not to me, anyway :)
She says this as if I just don't try to get a job; completely omitting the information that (at the time of the argument) I had 14 unites of classes. That's a total of 10 hours of class; four of them are 2 hours long each, two a day, except for Monday where I have three classes, one being 3 hours long.
Which, in conclusion to this, means I don't have time to hold a job and do class at the same time.
Anyway, on to the rest of what I was rambling about. Let me inform you that X knows me pretty well, and she had the lack of brain cells to say, "I don't get everything handed to me, like a car!"
In retort, I asked, "what car, X? Did you get me a car? Because I have no car."
I don't. I've talked about getting one so I could get to and from school without having to rely on my flake of a mother for rides; and so I can get a job that isn't in bus or walking distance.
I do not get things "handed" to me. I don't ever ask for things that I don't need. In fact, I use my own money (savings and money from FAFSA) to buy my necessities, like body wash/toothpaste/tampons/etc. The only time I've splurged was when Borders was going out of business and everything was half off its price. I've also bought my first 2 iPods, my first few cell phones, and paid for the first phones bill. When I was 14. I'm just good with money and I can save it up easily; is that really my fault?
No, I don't think so; I think it just means I'm smart with what I buy.
Oh, and to add to the tale that is X: She's 19 and pregnant, with a guys baby that she's barely been dating for 6 months. He still lives with his mom, who got kicked off their apartments lease for doing drugs. Now she and her boyfriend moved out into someone else's house who is renting out rooms for $700.
Yeah, I'm the stupid one alright.
X sets herself up for misfortune. It is the only way she knows. She likes to be pitied, and loves to complain about her shitty life all over Facebook, but then preaches about God. I'm not even exaggerating; for example: her last boyfriend, the first time around, harassed her so terribly after their breakup that she had to move schools. A couple months later, she gets back with him.
Again, I'm just such an idiot compared to her, right?
I don't know where she got it in her head that just because she sets herself up for these things, that it is my fault for being better off than her (financially and physically. I'd say mentally too, but that may be a bit too mean).
Now that the background story is out of the way, here is what I'm asking:
Why should someone be ashamed of what they or their family has? Financial-wise.
As in, my family (grandparents to be exact here) has worked very hard for what they have. They were born in the late 1920's, and my grandfather was a very smart man, and very respected in his field of work. My grandma was an RN for many years; enough that now she has bad knees from standing so much at work.
But in the end, they saved up and now they can afford nice things.
Why should my family not get nice things for themselves, and their grand-kids? They earned that money, they should be able to spend it how they please. If my grandmother wants to get me a $3,800 car so I can get to and from work and school (since she knows how much of a flake my mother is) how is this being spoiled, or selfish; how am I getting it handed to me? Getting it handed to me would be if they just bought me a nice car for the fuck of it.
It's a $3k used car, not a BMW, or an Audi. It's a used car that's made circa 1990's.
With X's family, yes she's more or less being forced to do this stuff on her own. However, she chose to leave her parents house (after being kicked out, but they asked her to come back); she chose to move in with her boyfriend of 2 weeks (at the time of leaving her parents house); she chose to have sex without a condom; she chose to not go to school, and work minimum wage at a grocery store instead.
I know plenty of people who are working at a grocery store and balancing school at the same time; one of them actually works a lot of overtime and still manages well.
She chose this fate for herself; in no way did I or anyone else force this upon her. I understand that she's not the best off financially; and it's not like I was either. My mother is fucked with money. This is actually our last month for food stamps. I rely on FAFSA for food/necessities money. Soon work, but not right now.
X decided to make herself a shitty path for life. I and my boyfriend chose the traditional way: School, steady relationship (no kids until we're set in our careers), get jobs and save up to move out, be moved out hopefully by next September, get new jobs, continue school and work, and then move on to good paying careers (RN and maybe cop for him, accountant for me) so we can afford nice things.
How is this getting handed to me? Just because I'm not 19 and knocked up, working minimum wage, doesn't mean I get everything handed to me! It just means I have my priorities straight.
Why on Earth should I feel bad for this?
I'm sorry for you, X. You're trying to justify and glorify your mistakes to make it seem like you're just that much more mature than I am. You're not. You do not automatically become mature when you get pregnant. I feel no regret for having my family want nice things for me. I feel no regret for having a boyfriend who's just as set on success as I am (OK, he's a lot more set than I am, but I'm catching up!). I feel no regret for taking the traditional, preferred way of life. I feel no regret knowing I will be fine.
You will worry, and you will worry a lot. You will continue to justify all of this, and complain on Facebook.
In a year from now, my boyfriend and I will be moved out on our own going to school and starting our classes towards our careers. Career. Not a job. In a year, we will be a few steps ahead.
In a year from now, you will be right where you are as of current. Raising a baby, possibly not with your boyfriend (what guy wants to take care of a kid at 20 with a girl he's barely been with?), working at Vons. Most likely still not in school, since you can't afford to take time off work now that you have a baby to feed, clothe, and take care of.
I know, my dear readers, that sounds harsh. But it's the truth.
I regret nothing, and I'm sorry you're jealous, X.