Saturday, October 22, 2011

You Are The Problem.

"We are all born ignorant but one must work hard to remain stupid." - Benjamin Franklin

Just a tiny rant on some stupid people I've encountered a lot lately:

People Who Park in the Red Zone:
We all have seen them, and been inconvenienced by these people.

Seriously, unless you're a firefighter, or a cop on duty (actually doing something, not just sitting there...) don't park in the red zone!

It says right there in big white letters "NO PARKING/FIRE LANE". So why do you park there?

Ohhh right, "I'll only be a second." Well, go be a second in the parking lot. And when the security guard tells you to move, that doesn't mean move five fucking feet down the lane. It means to park in one of the hundreds of spaces in the lot.

Oh, and you, Mr. Guy-With-Really-Bad-Hair-Do, what was the point of parking in the fire lane (for 20 minutes) when there was an open parking spot front and center 7 feet away...? Really dude?! You parked in the fire lane, on a one car road, to get some Mexican food or something. Yes, that was really important.

I don't care if you're picking up your kid from school; the grocerys parking lot's "no parking zone" is not a "student pick up zone".


You are not special, you are never "only a minute." You are usually about 30 or more minutes. That's one plus 29 more.

And then, AND THEN!! You have the audacity to complain about the traffic of everyone else doing it. Why? Because it inconveniences you doing the wrong thing.

Women Who "Hover":

Ladies, I'm sure we've all been in some nasty ass public bathrooms, right? Toilet paper on the floor, unidentifiable wet spots on the floor (how does that even happen in a woman's bathroom? You're sitting! You don't pee out of your thighs!) and usually something on the seat.

Not all public restrooms, but a few. So, we usually just pile on the seat protectors or make our own out of TP, right? Then shove it in with your foot when you're done and flush!

This is the right way.

The wrong way is hovering. Unless you are completely out of toilet paper and/or seat protectors, there is no reason to hover. And if you do hover, then use the damn TP to wipe off your spots.

See, I know you're all paranoid you'll contract butt AIDS or gonorrhea or some other disgusting disease, since that happens all the time when using public restrooms *rolls eyes*, but there's proper bathroom etiquette, and improper etiquette.

Proper would be what I described up there.

Improper is hovering, and then just leaving the bathroom after you're done, not cleaning up your misses. If we all did that, there'd be no mess, you see?

Isn't it simple?!

Oh, and those women who do cover the seat in TP (usually about 3 rolls worth), and still hover. Then you just get the TP stuck to the seat, and some of you don't even fucking clean THAT off!

WHAT THE HELL. You are a lady! Ladies don't do that. I don't care how butch, manly, punk, goth, or whatever "unladylike" you are, you fucking clean up after yourself so you:
1 - Save yourself the embarrassment of having someone walk in after you going, "Wow, she's disgusting!"
2 - Keep the toilet area clean so it doesn't end up in the state you're trying to avoid!


When Someone Holds The Door For You...:

You fucking say, "Thank you."   

Were some of you honestly never taught manners? Have some of you honestly never heard of the expression "thank you" and that you're supposed to say it after someone has done something nice for you? Do you think everyone around you is just your servant, and that you owe them no gratitude for them taking the time out of their day, to do something nice for you?

REALLY? Well, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but the world does not revolve around you. Unless you're the Sun, then it does. But I doubt you are.

It's called being "polite," and it works best when both parties partake in it.

If I ever encounter you and hold the door open for you, and you for some fucking reason cannot say thank you or even smile at me in thanks, I will say, "you're welcome, bitch," and regret nothing. I got no respect, why should you? I know it's a little childish, but you're apparently not worth more than that.

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