Thanksgiving.

There seems to be something wrong, here.



It's official. Everyone is forgetting Thanksgiving. My cousin posted a status about having a Christmas party at her work tomorrow, for the customers. 

I go to the stores, and it went from Halloween decorations, to Christmas decorations. 

There are only Christmas commercials on TV.

Christmas dinner ideas in my grandmas magazines.

What the fuck happened to Thanksgiving? 

When I was little, single digit ages, I'd go over to my grandmas, and we'd spend about 2/3rd's of the day making TONS of food, and decorating. Then we'd all gather at her house (there was maybe oh.. 8-10 people since we can't fit too many in our dining room) and food would be all over the house. We'd go around the table and say at least one thing we were thankful for, and then dig the fuck in.

That doesn't happen anymore. No one gathers, no food is made, no thanks is given.

Same damn thing for Christmas, but at least there's food and presents.

(Does anyone even remember the original "idea" of Christmas, anyway? You know, JESUS' BIRTHDAY? It's all about the damn presents now. If you don't get presents, you're not loved. Greedy damn people, ye be.)

Anyway.

It's one thing for a holiday to die out in a single family when shit hits the fan, like my family. Everyone hates each other. We're a lovely bunch.

But it's another thing for even the media and everyone else to forget about it.

I know the history of "Thanksgiving", and well yeah, what happened after with the killing and raping and pillaging of land sucked.

But that wasn't the idea of Thanksgiving. At least, after it evolved over time it wasn't. It was to sit around the table, have some family down time, and reminisce on the things in your life that you are grateful for and take a moment to be thankful for all of it. 

Family, friends, not being dead when you wake up (wut?) 

But no. Some of us, like my own family, can't suck up their ego for a few hours and act like they love each other. 

And the stores don't even sell shit for it anymore! You can't even decorate for it. Where's the spirit in that? 

It's depressing. 

So screw it. I'm a few weeks early, but this is what I'm thankful for :

1. Having somewhere to stay. A place to call my own. When I was a baby, my mom, dad and I lived in a house my dad (a construction worker) was working on building for another family. It only had 3 walls, the shower was a plastic tub and we slept on wall insulation on the floor. But at the time I was too young to understand we were broke. Only about last year or so I realized that that house wasn't actually ours. I still loved it. Some of my best memories there. 

2. My grandpa and grandma. They helped raise me. (My grandpa is completely different than my grandma) My mom went through some tough times, and for the first few years of my life there were a lot of issues between her and I. My grandparents gave me structure, and I think since they've both been alive since the 1920-30s, my morals, self respect, and the way I view things comes from how kids were raised in their time. My grandma is insane now, really, as a lot of you might know, but they've paid for my schooling, clothes, food, supplies, even now as I really get off the hook with my grandma, I'm still thankful for her and all she's done for me. 

3. My friends, of course. My real friends. The past year.. shit. I've lost a lot of people I thought I'd be able to always call my friends. But I still have the ones who have stayed with me. My closest friends I mostly met through my ex (the cheater). I thought a lot of them were nice and friendly because I was his girlfriend. But I was wrong, even after so, they invite me almost everywhere and we have a really awesome time. 

4. My cats. Some say dogs are mans best friend. They are, dogs are very loyal creatures. I had a few dogs when I was a baby and they looked after me, too. But my cats are the same way. When I'm sad, they sit right next to me, or in my lap, and comfort me, and lick my face. It's adorable and they don't care if I'm soggy from tears, they still let me hug them.

5. My technology, even though it fucks me over.

6. Being able to go to school. 

7. My mom. She should be up there a bit higher, but she also kind of falls under the somewhere to stay thing, and I also don't want to renumber these. My mom and I are either polar opposites or best friends. Never in between. We have been like the war between a Lion and an Elk, and two cats snuggling together. We have torn each other apart, and stood up for the other when no other family member would. It's weird, really. We're completely different and completely the same. My mom smoke and drank a lot when I was in my toddler years. I was verbally abused, but she always made up for it. At the time, I didn't know she was bipolar and off meds. Some scary shit, that was. But eventually she got her act together, for me mostly. And though she still doesn't have a job, and we've lived in the same bug infest one room apartment for 14 years, I'm still a pretty lucky kid. She's given up a lot for me, and it wasn't easy. I wasn't an easy child. She should have a award or something.

8. Not being dead, sick, or dying. 

9. Succeeding in my driving lesson today.

10. All the other things that are thought of as "less significant".

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