Driving.

Vroom



I don't get it.

What's the big deal about driving? I mean, I know it gets you places quickly. Usually. If there's no traffic. And if you have gas. But other than that.. why? Am I the only kid in the world who's not obsessed with learning to drive and getting my license? I'm nearly 19 and only have my permit. And you know what? I couldn't care less. Hell, I don't even care if it expires before I get my license. I'll just retake the extremely easy permit test again and ta da, six more months.

I barely know how to drive (the most I've done was nearly 70mph on the freeway, so I'm not terrible, just lack of practice time), and I'm already being hassled to learn it and drive everyone the fuck around. This is another reason I don't want to learn to drive, all I'd do is drive my grandma and my mother around. My grandma wants me to drive the van, which is the size of a small whale.

Oh, it's so easy to drive! You can see everything! She says, as she's backing out of a parking space at 1mph, while stopping every few inches "in case of cars" or that one pedestrian 100 feet away that may (and most likely will, at her speed) walk behind her while pulling out of the parking space.

I sit up front in that thing. You can see everything, sure, if you're only looking in front of you and slightly behind you out of the one big window. But if you're looking over your shoulder for oncoming traffic, you can't see shit. Too much car in the way. She keeps saying how when I get my license, I can drive her around. I keep telling her, very clearly, no, I'm not driving that van.

My grandmother also keeps saying my uncle is going to buy a car for me. I don't know what she's smoking, but that's highly untrue. My uncle won't even tell me where he put the installation CD for the printer, because it's my printer. So I should telepathically know where he put the CD that I've never used.

Anyway. He's incredibly picky on cars, too. Has this whole checklist made up for what I should be looking for while browsing cars. If it has it's original title, check the carfax, how long they've had the car, if they're the first owner or not, etc. Which seems like a great list, if we weren't looking for used cars under 5,000 on CRAIGSLIST.

Fail.

I mean, seriously, what kind of car do you expect to buy off CraigsList?!

So my grandma makes a big deal about me being up before 12pm. Hell, I was up before 10am. So we go out, do some pointless shopping and go eat. Before she goes to bed, she says, if you're up early tomorrow, maybe we can go out again. I tell her no, because I've got plans and driving class. Driving, oh, good!


Why good? You know, I didn't even want these damn classes. I was forced to take them. Fuck, the actual class was helpful, and yes the driving practice with a "professional" is helpful, too. But it wasn't fucking mandatory. I finished my 10 , two hour classes. I passed my test. Why must I keep making these appointments?

Yes, I admit, I'd much rather learn from my instructor than from my mother. Who drives like a maniac. A good one, but a maniac nonetheless.

I hate driving. It takes too much concentration, and I have very, very little of it. Actually, the only time I'm concentrated on something is if I'm reading a book by choice, or if I'm drawing something. With driving, there's too many things to keep note of. The person on your right, the person on your left, in front of you, behind you, the asshole driving over the line, the parked car on the other side. The random herd of family that decides to cross the walk two seconds before a red in the middle of your turn so you have to stop suddenly almost being hit, really wishing you could punt one of the many children with your front bumper.

Too far?

It's not much better that I angrily mumble to myself when someone (who's been on the road for eons) fucks up enough and I have to move in some sort of distorted fashion. It's such bullshit. Here I am, new, trying to drive by the rules, while some mo'fo' who's been driving for years decides he's holier-than-thou and drives all over the fucking place.

And I'm the one who sucks at driving? Take a look at yourself there, buddy.

If anything, I see more teenagers drive carefully/cautiously much more than I see adults/"experienced drivers" doing anything right. I think the term "experienced driver" is really just code for "learned how to multi-task while driving" and not "knows the rules and obeys them like a good citizen."

So really, driving is not a part of my top priorities at all. It'd be nice to know, sure, but it's a bitch to learn and I don't like driving. I don't like driving around an area I don't know, and being expected to do everything wonderfully. If I know where I'm going, it's much easier to do. But if I have to go by "make two lane changes and turn left at Mullberry Street and do a three point turn halfway down," yeah, I'm going to fuck up.

And honestly, I don't know how half the people on the streets got their license in the first place. Bitches be swerving through traffic and speeding and stopping suddenly. Or driving over the line. Fuck, one chick in front of me made a right turn from the middle lane, during a red light!

I'M NOT KIDDING!

How did these people get a license?!

Me.