Saturday, January 29, 2011

Oh, Mother.

Oh look, another rant.

What constitutes being an "adult"? Is it age? How you act? If you have a job?

My mother. She's 52 years old. Or 53, I forget. Either way, she's old.

Most people by now either have a job, or they're retired. My mother? Neither. She has not had a job in roughly seven-ish years. She's had lame, part time one day jobs. But nothing where you go to work, do stuff your boss tells you, and come home after an 8-10 hour day, then repeat for the rest of the week.

Her last "job" was at a vet clinic. She quit because she didn't like her teenage co-workers. God forbid she works a at job where she doesn't like someone. Who cares if you have a kid to raise with no other income except government money? Who cares if you still need 400$ to pay off your car, and that you're in debt, and can only spend about 100$ on food a month? For two people?

Nah, that doesn't matter. What matters is if you like everyone. Even the teenagers.
You should be ashamed of yourself when teenagers put up with work more than you do.

So, fine. You quite that easy as pie job, working at the counter, with animals (of which she LOVES).
Why did it take you seven years to start trying to find somewhere else? Yes, you were "working on getting your degree". At a junior college. You have yet to apply anywhere. Why can't you work while going to school part time? Like, once a fucking week?

My mother, she currently owes me about 70$. She always needs gas money. You know you're at the bottom of the well when you're unemployed teenage daughter has more money than you do. It was gift money, for birthdays or holidays. I use that money to buy shit that I need. I buy food with it, I buy shampoo and tampons with it, I buy body wash with it. The only thing I ever splurge it on is a couple 7$ books and maybe a new, 99 cent eye shadow. Hell, I just spent about 160$ of it on Microsoft Word, since my computer doesn't have it.

A few days ago, mom took me to school so I could go buy my over-priced school books. They had all but one that I needed, so she was going to take me the next day, but I had plans for the next two days. I texted her earlier today asking if she waned to go on Monday to see if they had it in yet.

After trying to decipher her 4 badly spelled text messages, she said she has no gas to go, and won't until February 3rd. School starts on the 7th. Where the fuck did she go that she wasted that much damn gas that she can't drive me a couple miles to school? Not like she was driving to work, or anything.

You know, I know she tries. But she half-ass tries. If she was really putting everything she had into this, she would've gotten a job within these seven-ish years. Even a part time job. She's always borrowing money from other people. And I'm sick of going to the Housing Authorities and shit to prove that yes, two people live in this stupid dirty little apartment, so she can keep getting government money. I had to miss school for this shit, during final review week.

This wouldn't happen if she'd just stop acting like a sixteen year old. I complain about how getting a job is hard, but it is harder for me since I have nothing to give any employer. I have no great skills or previous work experience or degree's or schooling in anything that would benefit me. My mother, she does. She's in her 50s for Gods sake, she's got to have something.

She told me last year, that she'd be completely out of debt by January, 2011. It's nearly February, and so far, I don't see an end in sight. Not just yet.



  1. Ughh. My dad's in a situation like your mom. Putting me in the same situation as you. He has a job and it's stable and stuff. But, he tells me this, "Let's say that I earn 1$ and I need 2$, where will I find that extra dollar?" that's his analogy. *rolls eyes*
    I take the city bus to school, so that's all good. It's better than last year, though. Last year was so bad that he couldn't even give me lunch money. O__O How sad is that?

  2. I hear ya Angela. I am a mom and I have never NOT had a job unless I was just out of the hospital from having a baby. I started working at age 13 and have held a job ever since. My 17 year old daughter on the other had wants nothing to do with looking or applying for the job and the 2 small jobs she's had, she didn't keep for very long. It frustrates me how some people have little to know work ethic while some of us carry the weight for many and go way beyond our normal calls of dutie. Hang in there kiddo!

    P.S. ~ Why aren't you following me yet dear?

  3. I should be looking for a job myself, I'm just kind of procrastinating and don't know how I'd get to the job. I've got no car and mom never has gas. >.<

    I haven't looked at your blog yet :3 I'm slow on these things lol

  4. Angela

    This is a very sad story made sadder by the fact that the first two people commenting could identify. Yeesh. I guess me makes three. But from the other side.

    You see, I'm a single 42 year old with mental health issues diagnosed late in life who lived with my widowed mother till about 36 (when I was diagnosed).

    I had sporadic work and basically lived off her because I was a seemingly normal, closet basket case who was terrified of job hunting and had other work and life issues.

    So, I guess I'm saying as it relates to your situation is either your mom is horribly lazy and has very little concern for you or maybe there is something wrong with her too, but either way don't expect much. She doesn't sound capable of being a very good mom.

    That is why I am glad I was to much of a freak to ever date and, God help me, marry and have kids. I would have been a horrible parent. Thank God I was smart enough not to have kids.

    But enough about me and back to you. This is probably going to annoy you but if you have a hotmail account you wouldn't have needed to spend that much needed $150 on Microsoft Word.

    Hotmail gives it to you with your email account. Seriously. I just found this out and I am glad I never paid for a Office package when I bought my computer.

    I think it also gives you Spreadsheets and Database. Not sure. But it definitely does give you the Word to use. It's too late for you but if you know anyone else low income let them know

    Sorry this is so long. One final thing. Hope everything works out for you whether you choose to get some adults in authority to kick your mom's ass legally speaking into doing better by you or whether you realize you are on your own and end up with another family or just working AND going to school like some kids in your situation unfortunately have to do.

    If that is the case then, a little more unsolicited advice. Use the money on yourself and not to bail out your mom. I'm sure she has her good points and loves you and all but you come first. Only after your needs are taken care of should you help her. Don't let her drag you down.


    P.S. If you want to read a book that will let you know that you are not alone and it can get better for you even with your parent troubles read the Jeannette Walls memoir "The Glass Castle". It should be in your local library. It was on the New York Times Bestseller list for YEARS. All the best to you.

  5. I really appreciate your comment, Carmen. It's not that she's a "bad mom," she's not, she's just.. lazy sometimes. She is Bi-Polar, but she's got meds and is perfectly capable of working.

    I met a guy a couple weeks ago who went all over the valley trying to get a job, and asked to borrow a couple dollars for lunch. He looked tired and like he was really hoping someone would call them. He talked to me about it some.
    And then I look at my mom, and she hasn't done that. I think she should just get her act together and apply for somewhere. She's perfectly able to.

    It just gets really annoying since it's been so long.


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