Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Love The Way You Lie.

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

You thought I was going to use Eminem's lyrics, didn't you? Another point for me!

I woke up to grandma yelling at the cat, since Cameo likes to paw things with her claws.
She doesn't do it to ruin things, just poke at them. Grandma doesn't understand that.

Anyway, I couldn't fall back asleep, because they (Jack, Wendy, Kym, and Grandma) were having a meeting in the big room (which is right next to my room) with the Social Worker. So I got to hear everything.

I don't remember everything word for word, but either way, it was quite interesting to hear how my grandma's mind works. I've no idea why they haven't diagnosed her as clinically insane yet.

The Social Worker was talking to my grandma about Hospice (Ha-spis, not Hoe-spice). Basically, it's better care for cheaper. (And here grandma was complaining about how the shit care we have now was all she could afford.)

After the lady told my grandma (and aunts and uncle) all about the benefits and how the caretakers are actually nurses (ours are all Filipinos who are here on visa or getting their green card. Yay!), grandma still wouldn't say yes. She'd ask the same questions over and over. My uncle and aunts were trying to get grandma to understand that this was better for grandpa. She wouldn't budge. I don't know why.

Eventually, I guess she said OK. After an hour.

The SW mentioned that there should be morphine on hand (just a small dose) IF anything were to happen, since it helps open the air way and relaxes, it'd be easier for grandpa. (She said that, with natural passing, the patient takes quick, short breaths, and the morphine would help).

Grandma went ape-shit. She took what the lady said and just flipped it around.
You mean you want us to have it so he can die faster?!
No, it'll help him breath easier. So he's not in pain.
My husband hasn't been in any pain for the past four years!

I actually laughed at that. Lets see, my grandfather needs to be suctioned. They use this near-foot long tube, put it down his mouth/throat, and it sucks out everything. Including air. He has had many suction wounds from this. He has a bad/basically broken hip. He has cuts, scrapes, bruises everywhere (no exaggeration). He currently has a bed sore. He has a catheter, and those things hurt like a bitch, especially for guys. He has a hole in his stomach for his feeding tube. He also has a bad eye (story explained in previous post) that is permanently dilated so light gives him headaches. He coughs long, hard, and loud all the time. His throat is probably in shreds.

Yes grandma, no pain.

They started talking about what she planned after grandpa passes. They talked church, specific religion, all that jazz. Grandma said that Father Kevin came to the hospital and gave grandpa his last rights, a couple times, and then he just perked up.

He doesn't look too perky to me. Anyway.

Grandma said, After Father gave him his last rights, he perked up. He's getting better.
Yes, but we're talking about when it happens. You hope for the best, and should prepare for the worse.
He's just waiting for me, and I don't want to go yet.

D'awww, how cuuuuute! No. It's not. So basically, grandma is keeping him here, in all of this distress? Some of you may tell me that they're just being a cute, old, in-love couple and don't want to live without the other.

You're on the outside. I am on the inside, and sadly, I honestly don't see it this way.
We all go individually. We're kept on this Earth to finish up what we were put here for. We'll go when God is ready for us.
Grandma chuckles, And I'm ready!

Wait, didn't you just say you weren't ready?

Jack just got back from picking up grandpa's medicine, stuff the nurse recommended and the morphine (for that IF case). Grandma got ticked off, complaining that there wasn't a thing to measure the other stuff with, and that the nurse said to call before using it. Jack, and everyone else, says no, she didn't. She said to call before using the morphine.

Now grandma is just walking around angrily, mumbling to herself (just loud enough for us all to hear her) about how Jack is just interpreting things the way he wants and that he knows nothing, she's the one with the RN degree (SHIT HAS CHANGED, GRANDMA.) And all this other shit. It's annoying.

On the bright side, my aunt just drank chunky egg-nog. This was quite the humorous experience.


  1. I like the honesty in your writing style Angela. I would really love someone with your view of the world to follow my blog. It may help you too, alot about views on life as I change.
    As for your grandma, I think she just wants to be heard right now. She sees her husband lying there day after day with no voice and is scared to end up the same way. So listen to her. Once she feels like people are listening she will start thinking about what she is saying.

  2. See, that's what everyone outside thinks. But all my life I've been around my grandma, she thrives on disaster. When something happens to someone she knows, she has to call EVERYONE of her friends or sisters and talk about how bad it is and why bad things happen to her. When it's not her! I mean, I'm sure she IS hurting because of my grandfather, but if she is so much, why is she so unwilling to make things the best for him in his last few months or so?


You're already at the end of the post, the big white box is right there, so empty and lonely, why not leave some love? :)