Monday, March 28, 2011


"She's got a smile that it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories, where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky. Now and then when I see her face, she takes me away to that special place, and if I stare too long I'd probably break down and cry." - Guns N' Roses Sweet Child O' Mine

Man, I love that song. Listening to it now, in fact. My mom tells me that she used to sing it to me when I was a baby and I'd start dancing :) Everyone who knows me really well (which is a rare few) says I was born into the wrong generation. One too late. But I'm glad my mom wasn't. 70's - mid 90's had pretty much the best music of my lifetime, even though my lifetime isn't up yet, I don't think much will ever top Guns N' Roses, Jefferson Airplane, America, Styx, Pink Floyd, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and other bands that defined Rock N' Roll.

Not that I don't like music from this generation, it's just very different. And we have a bad habit of redefining bands genres. "When did Motley Crue become classic rock?" - Bowling For Soup

Anyway. I've got this stupid cough that won't go away. I've had it for what, a week and a half? It's tearing up my throat. And my ab's. Nothing helps, it's really lame. My stomach feels like I've done 300 crunches, so I thought, maybe if I stretch it'll feel better. Stretching always feels good after working out! So I stretched.

I was very wrong. Probably one of the worst decisions of my life. My grandma asked me if I wanted the extra air purifier, I asked why and she said because I'm coughing so much. I said no, and I'm coughing because I'm sick. And she says, "I know, you're always sick!"

I'm actually pretty much never sick. Last year has been a little tough, but the weather's been fucky and it's not my fault! Actually, I'm 90% sure it's all this recycled air in my house that's making me cough. It makes my grandpa cough, but yet grandma thinks it helps. It doesn't. Breathing recycled air isn't good. As polluted LA is, I can breath in it more than the air in my house. As soon as I go outside, I'm fine ><

My grandma says my aunt may be "moving in." I'm not really sure if this is a good or bad thing, but she says it's only until she finds some new house to buy. But it'd be great to have someone else here instead of just me. I'm going crazy. Earlier today my grandma was just on a "duh" spree. She asked me to get her some strawberry fro-yo, in a cone. I got her some. She's like, "hey take some of this off and put it in your bowl."
"It's so much. I don't want all of it."
"But I don't want strawberry."
"Because I don't? I wanted vanilla, that's why I got vanilla."
I know, reading it doesn't seem as stupid but it was annoying at the time. Especially since mixing the strawberry and vanilla.. just no. I don't like that.

Then she says, "the frozen yogurt is cold!"
Really. Did not know that.

"This whole cone is filled with it!"
Again, duh.

"What did you get?"
Five minutes later.
"What'd you get?"

She also ate all the cheese nips. ALL OF THEM. When we went out, she ordered the same thing I did, baked ziti (SOGOOD). She told the waiter, "but don't over-bake it!"
As if that wasn't embarrassing enough, seriously, do you think they're going to intentionally over cook their food? That the one time they over baked it (actually they didn't she just says they did because she doesn't understand that when you put cooked noodles in an oven, the cheese and noodles get brown and harder and melt) they're just going to continue to over-cook it, because it's you?

MEH. Then when they brought it, she's like, "oh look, they over cooked it."
...They didn't. Again. Perfect as always, nothing wrong with it.

I don't understand this woman.
Then she was talking about this new nail polish, Cracked. And she gave me $10 to go get some (since it's about $8). I said I don't want it, thanks. "Why?"
"Because I don't need more nail polish."
"But that's exactly why you should get it, because you don't need it!"

There is just.. so much wrong with that statement.. *sigh*

Anyway. Again. My english teacher is going to have this "one on one" time with us this week. The logical person would hold class as usual, but just take the kid into the office and do it there, right? I must mention we're only going to be there for 6 minutes. Six. But no, he's giving us individual times. Class starts at 9am. When I have to be there? EIGHT FUCKING TWELVE IN THE MORNING. Some other kids got like 10am or later. WTF IS THIS MADNESS?! I have to wake up at fucking seven thirty in the morning just to go to class an hour early for SIX DAMN MINUTES?!


And then he decided to change our assignment, a week in, completely. From our "food essay" to our "food paragraph." So my 8 wonderfully descriptive paragraphs can walk straight to Hell because he only wants one now. And he says if we write any more than one paragraph we won't get a good grade because we are "exceeding the limits."

Fuck that.
Oh well, at least I don't have to sit in that stupid people English for 3 hours, wasting my day. Man, I am going to be a major grouch that morning. Good luck to him.

This class just doesn't seem worth it. I think all of my school counselors have lied to me. They say that once you get to college you can learn to be whateverthefuck you want to be. That's such a lie. And that you can take whatever classes you want. That too, is also a lie. I can't take whatever I want because you have to place into them. And the other classes that you don't, are always taken. ALWAYS. Ok, at least for JC it is. I don't know about Uni or that. Fucking should've just applied to CSUN and gotten it over with. But no.

Hell, I don't even know what I want to major in. I did, and then when I got to college, I lost interest. In everything. Psychology, writing, not photography but I don't want to lose interest in that, either. Maybe I should take a course, but I doubt I'd get a job with it. Shits hard, man. They expect so much, it's ridiculous.

Sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it. I barely see people working in their chosen career, anyway. I mean, how often do you meet someone who says, "yeah I went to college for 7 years and got my A.F.D.E.GT.GS.FD. Degree in Megasuperawesomeiknoweverythingology, and now I make enough to afford a BMW and a two story house with a white picket fence."

You don't. You just don't. You can see these people from really far away, in the 30th story window of that sky scraper blocking out the sun, sitting there, doing just that. But all they do is sit in an OFFICE. While that's cool and all, it's boring and unhealthy. Meh.

Is it bad that I so easily accept failure? Because I do. Always have. I fail, ohfuckingwell, it was going to happen anyway, moving on. And it's worse, so much worse, when you don't even like the class at all. Not even one tiny bit. You hate it and you don't want to go or do anything. If I got a class I liked, then I would.

Why must school suck?

I really wish this cough would go away.

I really wish I could just wake up successful.

But alas...


  1. I agree on the 70s-90s being the best era for music. COmpletely. Except I'd have to add in the 60s too. The Beatles, The Doors, Janis Joplin, etc. are amazing. I think everyone wishes they could simply wakeup and their life would be prefect. Everyone. But it won't work like that unfortunately :/ Got to take what you get I guess. I also hope you feel better.

  2. I'd be super ticked if I had to get up at 7:30 for a six minute meeting too. That sucks hard core. Also, school does suck. I'm so checked out already, and I've got a month left to finish. But then again, I came into college planning on being a psych major, did that, then halfway through this year I had a quarter-life crisis and decided...I don't want to be a psychologist anymore. SO...more school for me, even after I graduate. >.<

  3. ivy - ah yes the 60s, too! How could I forget the Beatles?!

    joanna - same, it's weird, because as soon as I start the class, i suddenly don't want it anymore. :(

  4. Angela, your comments about your dialogue with your grandma make me laugh. I remember when my grandpa was alive and he DID NOT understand why you had to pay extra for a coffee when your happy meal came with a drink. (yes, a 90 yr old man ordered happy meals!)

  5. Meredith - That's so cute XD

  6. LOL, the grandma parts made me LOL! Hahahahahahahaha! And yeah, I feel like I was born at the wrong time. I like all the oldies. xD And I want to major in psychology in college and master it in uni. XD I really hope I'll do well. I want to be a therapist. :) Sooo... yeahh.... I hate school. v_v I can't wait until it's over. They do expect A LOT. I'm in grade ten now, so I'm terrified(where I live[Ionno about where you live] colleges look at our last two grade ten terms and the first two terms of grade eleven[4 terms in a year]). So...
    I'm scared pooless.


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